The Ride The Dolomites; the only way is up

 For the last few months The Ride Dolomites had been a little black cloud on my racing calendar.  The starting date coming nearer and nearer and me feeling less and less prepared for it. For a few months earlier this year I was led into a false sense of security that I was on the road to recovery with the least amount of pain in my legs and back I had felt in the past two years. But then about two months ago, for no apparent reason my back injury raised its ugly head again. With nerve pain shooting down into my legs, my glutes, my hamstrings and lower back, everything hurting again. From sleeping, showering, walking the dogs, working, driving, and riding my bike. Simply living my life was painful.  Being in constant pain was exhausting creating a lack of motivation I was not used to. It got me so down that I wondered why I was still trying to be an athlete if it caused me this much distress. And at the same time not wanting to let go of something I loved doing so much. 

So I really had no choice but to ride through it. Literally. With The Ride only a few weeks away, I joined a local group ride to spend some more time riding in bunches to get used to it and get some road cycling fitness in at the same time. Not without pain I must add. But riding in company often distracted me from what was physically going on and slowly but surely the pain receded to just my lower back. And then suddenly it was time to pack.   

The evil master minds behind The Ride; course directors deep in thought...

The Ride was a Dutch owned company targeted and attracting mainly Dutch people.
It worked like a proper race tour; for 6 days we would be crossing the Dolomites riding from campsite to campsite. With a whole bunch of volunteers looking after us as if we were professional athletes. From Physio’s to bike mechanics, first aiders, cooks and support vehicles we were spoiled with attention from the first moment we woke up to the last moment we went to sleep. Every stage included a challenge which were all climbs, these timed sections counted towards a General Classification over all the stages. Each route had an option B for riders who were struggling and needed an easier ride. The support vehicles were on stand by the whole day sweeping up riders where necessary. And mechanics fixing broking down bikes. Every night we were treated with a recap of the day involving pictures, video clips and stories of the day in true sarcastic Dutch humour which I had missed so much! It was a really well organised event with good food, great people and amazing cyclists. 

I was teaming up with cycling guru, Maan Klomp who had done an enormous amount to boost women’s cycling especially in Amsterdam. She was a bit of a cycling celebrity realloy! Maan and I were both ambassadors for StrongHer whom we were riding for. It was an absolute honour and pleasure to ride with Maan. From the moment I arrived at camp late on the Saturday night she took me under her wing and made me feel at ease. Maan also had her list of troubles getting ready for The Ride including a trip to the hospital with broken ribs only a few months ago! My plan for the week was simple, I was not allowed to push myself. Hmm. Yes. This is a lot harder than you think when the evil master minds behind this event had chosen to send us over some of the toughest climbs in the area. And with a racing mind in my head, I had to let go of my ego and stick to the plan.

we quickly formed a tight group

We started with two massive days, both over 140km of riding and close to 3000m of ascend. And a tight little group was easily formed; Maan and her husband Harco, Joyce and Ger, Marc, Siegrid and I. Riders would come and leave us but this was the core of our bunch for the week.

Our pace maker Harco in conversation with Marc before setting off 

On Day 2 (143km, 2800m ascend) the heat and steep gradient got to me in the final km of the challenge climb and I decided I needed a lay down in some nice looking green grass (which actually ended up being stinging nettles)  When the ambulance drove passed me, they jumped out and came running towards me thinking I had passed out. I immediately got to my feet “I am ok, I am ok” I said to the concerned but smiling faces. This all to the amusement of a fellow rider who witnessed it all, not shy of teasing me about it for days to come! The shero's from first aid gave me some magnesium, lots of encouraging words and off I went on again just as Maan caught up with me who was struggling equally as much as I was. The final 1km felt like 10000000000kms!!

Absolutely not pushing myself...

It worried me that after two days I already felt so empty, and there were still 4 days to go

with some of the hardest climbs still to come. But the atmosphere was electric, the weather was amazing and everybody including all the volunteers were so upbeat that the suffering was easily forgotten. 

amazing scenery creating a happy heart

Having a moment with Siegrid to take it all in 

On day 3 (113km, 3000m ascend) I struggled riding in a bunch, it is something I do not do very often and I felt the constant change of pace was taking its toll. We lost Maan to the support vehicle half way through the day which made me sad for her. I myself felt a bit uninspired. Feeling mentally and physically exhausted. In the final 16km climb of the day I was lucky to be able to keep Joyce in sight up the mountain. It started raining as the last km's came closer climbing into colder air. I had to laugh out loud when a bunch of riders who were hiding from the weather at a cafe cheered us on full noise, lifting up my spirits.  As we reached the top of the climb the rain had now turned into heavy hail the size of small ping pong balls, causing a slippery mess on the road. Joyce and I decided the last descent to camp was not worth getting injured for and we called for help. There were at least 20 people still stuck on the mountain but within minutes riders were taken down, given hot drinks and emergency foil blankets to get warm. A big shout out to Jos from the support vehicle and a huge credit to the organisation for taking control of a situation which could have easily ended up out of hand.

Nothing makes me happier 

Day 4 was the mighty Queens stage, 114kms and 4000m of climbing. We were staying at the same camp that night which meant riders could opt out, have a rest day or ride an easier route B. As people were talking more and more about how brutal this stage was, my adventure heart started to sing. It included Passo di Fedaia, a brutal climb with a straight up 3km section averaging 17% gradient. And I wanted to ride it. I did not care if it would take me the whole day. Whilst riders were coming up with reasons not to do it, I started to convince myself I was strong enough to do it. This was a bucket list stage and my name was written all over it. We discussed it in our group and 5 of us were going for it; Joyce, Ger, Siegrid, Marc and I. 

Mighty stage 4

waking up on the first climb with a scenery which was breath taking

The support of Ger and Joyce over the week was very much appreciated

I can’t really describe the magic which told the story of day 4. The connection I felt between our little group, the amazing scenery which simply made me feel the happiest I had been in a long time. And having legs which for whatever reason just kept on giving. We all rode within minutes from each other which made the day flow so effortless it felt like one big great smile. Riding into camp that night having achieved the full stage was one the most satisfying moments I have had for a long time. Something which had absolutely nothing to do with pace, power or speed, but absolutely everything to do with mental strength. One of those days you will recall sipping a cup of tea in the evening sun at the age of 110.

Exhausted with Siegrdid after an epic day 4

Day 5(125km 2900m ascend) was always going to be a tough one after such an epic day before but we were now on the home straight and it was another day with scenery to keep the soul happy forever.
               

Ready to go after refreshments at the feed zone

Enjoying the incredible views

Maan back in old form in the last couple stages

The final day(110km, 2700m ascend) was not without drama when Siegrid suffered a mechanical just before the last climb. Reluctantly we left her behind whilst she waited for the mechanics to arrive. Nothing can get Siegrid down however and ala Annemiek Van Vleuten she stormed up the last mountain to join the rest of us for the final descent back into Levigo. 

In these final km’s of The Ride a lot of what had happened in the last couple of years went through my mind and I felt satisfied in a way a great race can only satisfy you. But this time I had not won anything or set any record times. It was simply an amazing week with incredible people. A week which had given me an awareness of my mental strength which I have never had before. Giving me some control back of my physical performance which I had lost through injury.

Although none of us were focussing on the challenges, our little group kicked some ass! With Piet and Stephan (who joined us in the final two days) taking out the men's master duo's, Ger and Joyce coming second in the mixed duo's, Harco coming 2nd in the super speedy master male category, and Siegrid coming 2nd in a very strong master Female field. I myself was very happy to finish 4th master female!

Trying to eat as much as possible at breakfast time

Camp

A huge thanks to StrongHer for giving me the opportunity to do The Ride, our little group for all the support and everyone involved for creating such a special week. Back to reality in little old Scotland preparing for my last adventure of the year, Worldwide MTB Stage race The Yak Attack in Nepal. 

“What you think you become, what you feel you attract, what you imagine you create” Buddha 

The Dukes Weekender; just what the doctor ordered.

I love sport. I love following athletes in their pursuit of excellence at whatever level that may be. I love stories of adversity, overcoming struggles and disappointments. People who when the world has given up on them, will lash out and make the impossible happen. I get inspired by those real stories, the truthful, honest and relatable ones. It is what has inspired me to challenge myself, to dig deep, to push my own limits, chase dreams in what ever way, shape or form they may come. To not, no matter what the circumstances, ever give up. 

Adversity is something I am very familiar with and to overcome them my true instinct has always been to fight against it, to push against pain. Wether that is physical or mental pain. It has resulted in multiple injuries including ignoring a broken back to the point I could barely walk and alienating a childhood which is just as much a part of me as my present. I have always felt that my ability to suffer in training and races is what enabled me to fast track through the amateur ranks to elite level after getting involved in sport late in life. Rather than having natural talent. And equally this ability to suffer put an end to my short lived pursuit of elitism when I nearly managed to destroy myself by ignoring all the signs of serious injury.

Chickensoup for the soul; bikes, trails and dogs

I have mentally really struggled in the last couple of months to redefine my dreams and goals as an athlete. Chronic injury and debilitating nerve pain prevented me to deal with the feeling of being stuck the only way I knew how to, by fighting through it. Thanks to my coach James McCallum who took the time to sit down with me, helping me make plans with very short term goals I slowly but surely have started to move forward again. Thanks to friends like Laura Cunningham who pulled me out of my own isolation and included me into her cycling family, I have started to feel inspired again. And as the pain in my legs started to recede, my mind has become calmer, or vice versa I wonder?

I am not someone who seeks company from other people to feel better but equally I do feel the need to connect with like minded people to feel inspired. With that in mind I entered the Dukes Weekender, a new race on the calendar involving a hill climb TT and a 65km gravel enduro race. The Dukes Weekender was advertised as a social cycling festival, including a

kids race and a social gathering with inspiring speakers in the likes of Graeme Obree, Andy McKenna and Lee Craigie. With Michael away on holiday it meant I was going alone. I had been improving with leaps and bounces in training but felt a bit anxious about racing. I nearly talked myself out of going when I received a message from my lovely friend and Scottish MTB champ Kerry MacPhee who had noticed my name on the start list. I had to laugh to myself, a social cycling event in Scotland always means it attracts some of the best riders in the country! Kerry’s message got me to pack up my van with bikes and dogs and head to Aberfoyle.

My support crew

Within minutes of arriving I had already made a friend in multi sport champ Pippa Tanner and her husband Nick. Before the weekend was over we were planning adventures together after discovering we only lived 20 min apart!

The event started with a 2km Hill TT, although not my strength, I wanted to really dig deep on the hill climb, empty the tank, give it all I got.The atmosphere was buzzing and hearing Rab’s voice yelling my name through the loud speakers made me want to go that little faster. The bells and whistles, the chalk writing of support on the tarmac disappearing underneath me, the sound of drums and cheering people, it was such a cool experience racing to the top of Dukes Pass. The atmosphere was electric and everyone was in such good spirits. Happy with my performance I went back to the start to cheer on Kerry and other competitors.

Hanging out with Danny Macaskill 

The Dukes gathering on Saturday night was hosted by Rab Wardell and Lee Craigie. Entertaining, inspiring, and buzzing all at the same time having Andy McKenna and Greame Obree speak. Both men having this amazing gift of captivating people with their incredible presence. I had to pinch myself when I found myself engaged in conversation with Graeme Obree after the event. We chatted about his achievements, mental health issues and pursuit of acceptance. An absolutely fascinating brilliant man to talk to. Not much later I found myself in the company of Danny Macaskill chatting about his adventures on Killimanjaro. What a night! I returned to my van filled with inspiration and energy after an amazing day on the bike with awesome people. Squeezed in with my dogs and bike buzzing from the days adventures I did not get much sleep! 

Meeting Graeme Obree and Andy McKenna

Waking up to torrential rain in the morning was not exactly ideal. I felt awful after a rough night in the van, “but its only 65km” I thought “how hard can that be?"

Very hard. Very hard indeed was the answer to that. It ended up a very wet, windy, tough cold solo ride for me. At times I felt like I was not moving through the insane headwinds riding over tyre sucking water soaked gravel roads. I completely messed up the racing style riding on my own, wanting to get back as soon as I could. Which resulted in not really having the legs to smash the timed really cool, twisty stages! There was a lot of cursing against the torrential rain, but I always find it amazing how these bad memories quickly fade after a change into warm clothes and lots of good food! The afternoon was spent with old friends and newly made ones, lots of laughter and planning of new adventures. We all took amazing prizes home with Kerry outclassing the overall women’s field and Pippa and I dominating the podium in the slightly older athletes category over the three races. I was most happy with my 2nd place in the hill climb! A huge thank you to all the volunteers out on course and the organisers for putting up a professional run super fun event. I will be back next year for sure!

Driving home I felt inspired in a way I had not felt for a while. I knew that I still had to take it one step at a time with a back injury which needed continuous management. But the Dukes Weekender had managed to awaken and inspire the competitor in me to keep on trying and chasing, to keep on at it. Dreams really have no time limit. And I needed to 
remind myself of that.

A massive thanks to Sandy Wallace Cycles especially John Woodrow for being so supportive of me and coach James for guiding me through some tough months. I am very lucky to have a good support network around me. 

Next stop for me; The Ride Dolomites.

                                           “You will get there, but only if you keep going” 

Photo credit : Pam La Craig 

Riding through post Sri Lanka blues

It has been a strange season for me so far. Where I started with incredible motivation racing almost every weekend through April and May, soaking up all the improvements with a huge grin on my face. To things turning quite quickly when I deleted a race off my calendar for reasons I won't go into; the Off-road Finnmark in Norway scheduled for the beginning of August. I had been eyeing up the Off-road Finnmark for a few years now, not being able to race it due to injury. It was my goal race for 2018 and the main reason I was really motivated to overcome my back injury and create speed in my legs again. In the attempt of becoming the first women’s team to ever complete the distance. The decision not to race Finnmark hurt where it hurt the most and I felt lost without it, not exactly knowing what to aim for.

The perfect Scottish summer

                           Although I am so happy to be able to run again it is a frustratingly slow progress

The sad experiences in Sri Lanka had made things even more unclear. Not really know where to go from here. My struggle with injury in the last couple years and the determination needed to get even a smidge of my old strength back started to fade. I had always been a veterinarian AND an athlete and did not feel quite myself without either one of them. But I equally struggled to successfully combine the two and started to wonder if the pressures I put myself under chasing dreams were worth it.

3 weeks after Sri Lanka, I travelled to Spain to race a MTB marathon together with Karin. We decided to do this during the saddest days in Sri Lanka, in memory of Narayan. But when I arrived in Barcelona it was very clear very quickly that neither of us were in the right frame of mind to push ourselves to the max during a race. So we decided to chill a lot instead. Going for rides with no other purpose then to enjoy riding the bike and our environment. Having long lunches mid ride and coming home when the sun was setting. Chatting endless about all aspects of life. Neither of us really knowing where to go from here. Mid life crisis?

enjoying mid ride lunches 

The one big adventure left set in stone on my calendar was The Ride The Dolomites. 900kms of riding through the Dolomites in 6 days, where Maan Klomp and I were leaders for the StrongHer team. As I was riding my bike without any direction or intention post Sri Lanka, a few things started to become clear in my head. The attraction of going to the Dolomites for StrongHer was being able to help and support the other team riders together with Maan. A completely different role to racing for myself, I would be there to offer advise, guidance and inspiration to hopefully give everyone an amazing experience whilst completing a challenge they could be proud of. Racing for me has always been about the places the bike has taken me and the people I have met along the way. To be able to use my race experiences to help others on their journey really started to excite me. To be able to be strong enough during The Ride in order to support team riders in need, meant I had to be really strong myself heading into the event. This suddenly felt like an awesome motivation which had nothing to with my own goals but with helping other people achieve theirs. Inspiring me to suck it up, get on my bike and get back at it.

With the best Summer Scotland has ever had, I had no excuses really, and I needed to put a stop to my self pity. With life’s endless curve balls this was sometimes easier said then done. But I have never been after easy. And I needed to remember that, this path I was on, was my choice, that these were my dreams and it was me who wanted to keep chasing.

enjoying a chilled ride with fellow METAthlete Laura 

With having my closest friends and especially my sister spread around the world far away from me it was quite easy to forget that I was in fact not alone. That we were all fighting our own battles. Lately I  learned that opening up a little, leads to some of the more interesting conversations I have had. Hearing stories I could relate to, connecting with people who had similar dreams and understood. Making me realise I have some real good friends who care. So here is a big thanks to you, Karin, my sister Martje, James, Cara, Corinne (to name a few) and of course Michael for making the last month a little easier. It is time to eat a rock and toughen up! 

                            “we know what we are, but know not what we may be” 

Sri Lanka Airlines Rumble in the Jungle; The highs and lows of racing

I have always been that kid at school. The foreigner with the strange accent. The girl who came from nowhere and never really fitted into any particular group. I did not stand out for being smart, beautiful or sporty for that matter. I just did my thing. I have lived in 8 different countries,  two different hemispheres and often it felt to me that I have gone through life anonymously. Not really belonging to a nationality, a country or even a family. I never really felt the urge to fit in if it did not feel right, and learned that the feeling of loneliness had nothing to do with the amount of people you surrounded yourself with. Always finding my happiness in the solitude of the outdoors. 

It wasn’t until I started racing adventure sports in my early thirties that I felt really at home in a group of people. A deep connection made by sharing the same passion with people from all sorts of different back grounds, nationalities, and walks of life. A shared love for adventure, for the outdoors, for exploring new cultures and countries whilst pushing our own limits to the max physically and mentally. Friendships made based on a fundamental understanding of what made you, you. Friendships which would last a life time. Connecting the dotted lines.  Every time I surrounded myself with these like minded people it felt like coming home and it made me happy in the truest of forms. A feeling which was very easy to get addicted to.

The amazing women of the Jungle 

I did not hesitate for one second when Phil invited me earlier this year to come and race the 5 day MTB stage race, The Rumble in the Jungle which was held in the Sri Lankan mountains. I had already made plans to race the Trans Pyrenees with my adventure buddy Karin Sloove which was raced in the same week. We very quickly changed our plans and signed up for an adventure of a lifetime with MTB World Wide in Sri Lanka. Phil and I had bonded high in the Indian Himalayas suffering through my first and one of the most brutal MTB stage races in the world, the Hero MTB Himalayas. And Phil’s better half Corrine, being the physio at the event, had kept my back in one piece during that time. We had stayed in touch ever since and the thought of catching up with them during another incredible adventure, filled my heart with joy. With Phil also being the organiser of the infamous highest MTB race in the world, the Yak Attack, in Nepal, I knew we were in for a treat!

With familiar faces coming to Sri Lanka in marathonMTB legend Mike Blewitt, Aussi legend Meg Carrigan and the always smiling speedy Karen Hill, plus other athletes I had met at events all over the world, I reassured my friend Karin that we could not have a nicer bunch of people involved when her lack of Mountain bike experience made her doubt her ability to finish the stages every day. 

The days were filled with Sri Lanka’s incredible beauty; From navigating thick jungle, climbing into the high mountains, passing breath taking waterfalls, to taking in the friendly supporting and beautiful smiles of the Sri Lankan locals whilst descending through working thee plantations and navigating exhilarating down hill trails. The organisation was second to none and as a group of riders we had become a tight knit as more and more stories started to unfold. Spare parts changed hands between riders to fix broken bikes and everyone made sure we were all on that start line the next day in the best possible way. Laughter curing the wounded bodies and empathy taking away any doubts of being able to continue. 

Old friends reunited 

Nothing could have prepared us for what ended up unfolding. Nothing could have prevented the tragedy which told the story of day 4. Where in a split second nothing would ever be the same again. Where we were brutally reminded of how precious life really was and that this could have happened to any of us, at any point in time. A freak accident with devastating consequences. A freak accident resulting in the death of one of Nepal’s National MTB legends; Narayan Gopal Maharjan. Putting a brutally sad ending to the 4th edition of The Rumble In The Jungle in Sri Lanka.

The beauty of Sri Lanka 

The way we came together as a group and the smooth progression of events in the following days was a huge credit to the sponsors Sri Lanka Airlines, Lanka Sportreizen and in particular organisers Phil, Corinne and Neil. Deep heartbreak laid within every single one of us, with the loss of one of our own. Equally we had an understanding that this was part of the way we choose to live our life’s in an adventurous but incredible beautiful world. And not wanting to have it any other way. The knowledge that Narayan would have felt the same giving us some form of comfort in the darkest of times. After a small but lovely intimate closing ceremony organised by Sri Lanka Airlines, we heavy heartedly went our separate ways travelling home, changed by a deeply sad experience which will forever connect us. 

Things had been a little cloudy in my head in the last couple of years. With my dearest friends dotted around the world rather than having them in my close proximity. Feeling like a bit of an outcast in my day to day environment. Not quite knowing which direction to take. But simultaneously always gravitating towards a life filled with real emotions. Accepting that with the incredible highs come the heartbreaking lows.  

Now more than ever am I determined to keep following my rocky path of chasing dreams, live the life which sets my heart on fire, in spirit of all the legacies who chose this exact existence but did not get the chance to follow it through. In the spirit of Narayan. A huge thank you to Sri Lanka Airlines, Lanka Sportreizen, Phil, Corinne and Neil for all their support and dealing with an impossible situation with such gratitude and grace. You are all wonderful human beings and I hope to see you very soon.

A beautiful tribute written by Neil;

You were always too quick for me brother, on your bike and with your humour.
On June 13th The global mountain biking community lost one of its own. Nepal lost a son. Many of us lost a beautiful friend. The night sky lost its brightest star.
Narayan Gopal Maharjan @narayangopalmaharjan, who’s cheeky laugh and goofy smile could light up a mountain, and often did, sadly passed away in a tragic incident whilst racing in Sri Lanka. He was a humble, modest, and funny friend to everyone. A ferocious and focussed combatant on a mountain bike, and both a humble winner and a gracious loser. A fine character of a man.
I have only positive memory’s of him.
He was my dear friend and my heart is broken. Many hearts are broken.
Rest in Peace my brother.
Ride swift and true.

Waking up to see another day

Earlier this year my sister was dealing with a serious health scare. For a long two weeks which seemed like an eternity we were awaiting test results, and specialists opinions. It felt unbearable to think about what this could mean for her and her young  beautiful family. Fortunate for us it ended up being the best case scenario coming with a warning to look after ourselves. For a couple of months it made me think about what was important to me and what it was I really wanted. As life can change so quickly.

Last week I heard the news of the passing of a childhood friend, I could not breathe. Her family living the exact nightmare I so feared for my sister. And which we managed to escape. 

Magic ride through my back yard 

I took my bike out that night. Caught up with a couple of friends and we head for the hills which are literally on my doorstep. We have been extremely lucky with the weather lately and a sunny Scotland is absolutely breath taking. This evening was no exception. Everything looked almost a little brighter, a little more colourful and a little more peaceful. I enjoyed riding my bike more than I had for a long time, soaking up the beauty of my surroundings and the positivity of the company I was in. As always happens on the best rides we had to chase daylight on the way home and as I walked into the door Michael asked  me “what are you smiling about?” It was a good ride.

I have had a bit of a love/hate relationship with my body over the last few years. First it was fatigue which I could not get rid off and then I broke my back. Frustrated with a body which simply did not cooperate. A body which in my eyes continuously let me down. I have often felt I was running out of time to do all the crazy sport related things I still wanted to achieve. With the increasing amount of wrinkles taking over my face and often getting out of my bed in the morning moving like an 80 year old women. Fighting the fact that I was getting older. I was reminded this week however that growing old is a privilege. And it hit home hard.

Next week I will be heading to Sri Lanka for a 5 day MTB stage race in the mountains with one of my best friends. My training has been mainly based around rehabilitation for my back injury and I am not entirely sure if I actually have proper endurance yet. But I also know that if I was asked to ride it tomorrow, I would and I could. The question being how fast? I have been struggling with accepting how much my injury has hacked into me and the feeling of not being competitive anymore.

I absolutely love training, and I love training hard. I love pushing my limits. And therefore I love racing. But what I love more than the actual physical aspect of it all, is the beautiful places my bike has taken me and the beautiful people I get to meet. I might never gain the strength I once had or the speed to be competitive. But as long as I am alive and mobile, the pure enjoyment of riding a bike through beautiful scenery or an exhilarating descent which makes me feel so very much incredibly alive, will always be there. And that really gives me more happiness than any podium ever will. 

Scotland has seen some amazing weather

How to prepare for a 5 day MTB stage race in a hot humid country like Sri Lanka? My advice would be just enjoy riding your bike as much as you can. I am not saying I don’t train hard to get ready for these events and I certainly do a lot of high intensity sets on the turbo and long rides to mimic the strain my body will endure racing. But I do these things because I love doing them, not just to prepare myself for races. Its a life style for me incorporated with a busy and demanding job as a veterinarian. 

Now more than ever I would really like to inspire people to not wait for life to happen but make life happen here and now. I often hear people say “I will do it next year, I am not fit enough yet, I am not ready” But what if next year won’t be there? Injury can strike anytime, circumstances change. If you love riding your bike go ride it, if you dream of doing an event, go enter it. And tell yourself you can do it. Because you really can. 

It has been a slow process letting go of my competitive mind and the disappointment that comes with not meeting my own expectations. But if I have learned anything from the last few months is to not take life for granted. I am here, I am living and I am still able to do what I love doing albeit at a different pace. I am looking forward for a trip of a life time to Sri Lanka and I will consciously enjoy every aspect of it.  For everyone  who has been taken away from their lives way to soon; I will laugh a little louder, smile a little bigger and walk through life a little slower.

"Childhood friendships are the most beautiful memories which can never be replaced "