3 years ago I rushed out of my shoe box sized apartment to try and skin up 800m in less than an hour on my ski’s something I had seen on Instagram. I did not have light kit at the time and carried a big backpack with all the things you need for an all day adventure rather than a time trial to the top. I spotted someone in the far distance and made it my goal to catch up to him. As I passed my target whilst sweating and panting heavily, he started following me “hello, I am Yann your landlords friend, do you remember me? I met you the other day” I had no intention to be social as my focus was to climb as fast as possible but Yann had no intention to stop asking me a million questions. Apparently there were not many females around that would “run” up the mountain for fun and it got his attention.
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| The picture Yann took of me the day we met |
I did not make the climb in less than an hour but I did meet my kindred spirit. Since meeting Yann I have climbed 15 x 4000m plus Mountain Summits including the highest in Mountain in Europe Mont Blanc 4809m. I have gone from never having rock climbed before to doing multi pitch routes following Yann along exposed ridge lines and up vertical walls. I have skied several 45 degree “couloirs” and started competing in Ski Mountaineering races. Inspired by Yann’s 8 entries in one of the most prestigious ultra trail running races world wide; the UTMB, I started trail running and every year I added distance. This summer I finished the famous CCC 100km at the UTMB trail festival. I went from mixing Dutch, English and French words in an attempt to learn French, to speaking the language fluently. I moved from my studio apartment to a one bedroom apartment and then to living with Yann in his beautiful Chalet at the foot of the stunning lake of Montriond. I have gone from avoiding Christmas (too many sad memories) to buying a tree the first weekend of December and filling the house with Christmas decorations. I have reconnected with my mother after too many years of silence and my sister and I are as close as ever before. Sometimes you meet someone who challenges you to always be the best version of yourself. Someone who inspires you to learn, to progress, to reflect and keep moving forward. Yann has been that person to me.
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| ticking of the 4000m peaks in Europe |
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| Multi pitch climbing |
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| following Yann out of my comfort zone |
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My preparation for the CCC 100km trail race this Summer was difficult with all the pain I experienced through my spine after finishing the Atlas Mountain Race in October 2022. Somehow everything seemed to fall into place on the start line with strong legs and a back which felt better than it had felt for months. So I went for it! After a year of battling pain, the pain bear was silent and I could push on the uphill as well as the downhill which felt like magic! I was heading for a solid performance. Unfortunately my inexperience made for a few mistakes on the nutrition front and with 40kms left to go I couldn’t hold anything down and finished the last 30kms on one cup of tea and everything I had ingested before that was left along the trail!
Although I lost a lot of time, I was so happy I had a go at pushing my limits physically and then I had to push them mentally when I couldn’t take any water or food in. It was an experience which made me dream again and made me believe that I was not done yet. I did however need a break from racing and decided not to pencil anything in the calendar for the winter ski season and decide last minute what I wanted to race.
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| At the finish line of the CCC |
Until I got an email from the team manager of the Dutch Ski mountaineering team inviting me to join the selection weekend for the upcoming Ski Mountaineering season. I had 4 weeks to recover from the CCC and train some speed in my legs again after a lot of slow endurance training. I had no expectations leading into the weekend, I decided I would be ok with not being selected.
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| Run time trial |
When the team managers started to explain the Winter Olympics dream, my head started to spin. Which athlete does not dream of going to the Olympics? With lack of pure speed I knew it was a tough ask to get selected but I gave it all I got. Getting selected was the first hurdle. The second hurdle was turning me from an endurance athlete into a sprint athlete to suit the Olympic Ski mountaineering format which was a 4min sprint condensing all the different techniques you need to have to be a good ski mountaineer and making it spectacular to watch at the same time.
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| training in Saas Fee with the world Champion Max Drion |
So in the last couple of months I have gone from finishing a 100km ultra, getting selected for the National Ski Mountaineering team, to working with a new high performance coach and training for my first Ski mountaineering sprint race which counted as the French National Championships held last weekend.
In all honesty I did not really want to race. “I am not ready” I said to my coach. “You will certainly not be ready but then we will have a starting point” he answered me. Lucky one of my closest friends Katie lived near the race venue and was the perfect person to have by my side to calm my nerves. When I first had a look at the course I choked. It was very steep. There were slalom gates. I had never skied around gates before. What was I doing???? I froze. I did not eat or drink all morning. I did not properly warm up. And suddenly I stood on the start line with a race official telling me “1,2, 3 GO!”
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| going around the diamonds |
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| first time around the gates |
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| boot pack |
The Olympic format, a standardised loop with 80m vertical gain, 3 transitions, a boot pack and a downhill. A 3-4min all out effort which is repeated several times through qualifying, heats, quarter finals, semi finals and finals. I never thought I would love this as much as I did as it is far fetched from the adventure that made me fall in love with ski mountaineering in the first place, however it is very focussed on all the techniques you need to nail to be any good at this sport and safe in the mountains. I have always gravitated to sporting disciplines which is so much more than physical talent but rewards skills and mental strength.
This winter season it is all about getting as much experience as possible at world cup level, I will therefore race all the disciplines, from the sprint, the vertical km, the individual (a 2hrs loop with 1500m of vertical gain) to the mixed relay (a slightly longer version of the sprint with a male team mate). I will be racing 5 international races including the Dutch national champs from January to April. Going from a 10-20 hour effort to a 4min-2hrs effort will need a bit of adjustment and my only goal this season is to show improvement as the season progresses.
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| lucky to have someone who pushes me every single day to be a little bit better than the day before |
Winter season 2024/2025 is where Olympic Qualification will begin and I will be committed to race all the World Cups to gain as many points possible to not only qualify the Netherlands but I will also try and be the person our national federation will send to the Olympics to represent the sport in Cortina D’Ampezzo 2026. I am fully committed to give this all I have got.
Over the years I have represented the Netherlands in Equestrian (as a junior), in Mountain Biking and Triathlon and never did I think I would be chasing the Olympic dream this late in life in a sport completely new to me! People will think I am crazy, people will think I am too old, people will think I am wasting my time. But I am a dreamer through and through and although a lot of my aspirations and dreams disappear into thin air, the chase is worth the journey. Even if I fail to reach my goal at least I can say I gave it my all. This is my dream to dream and I will not die wondering.
A huge thanks to James McCallum who has been my rock over the years and always said to me 'there is more to come'. And Rab Wardell who is missed every single day. I owe both more gratitude than I can ever express. Thank you does not really cut it but it will have to do for now.
It's impossible, said pride. It's risky, said experience. It's pointless, said reason. Give it a try, whispered the heart.
