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For many years when on holiday I have stared up into the sky in awe of the beauty of Mont Blanc. It was one of the reasons I wanted to make Haute Savoie my home. There is something so magical almost mysterious about the highest summit in Europe. I have always felt that mountains run through my veins, they warm up my heart, and inspire my soul. They make me dream.
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| Mac also in awe of Mont Blanc |
Moving to Montriond in the French Alps meant I had close access to a world I was so inspired by. I started exploring through the mountains with my little adventure pup Mac and tried to learn as much as possible about weather patterns, snow conditions and avalanche risk assessments. With Covid and my slightly anti social personality I found it difficult to meet people who could help me enter the world of alpinism. And I often wondered how I could get into climbing mountains without having the money to spend on a guide or mountaineering courses.
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| Instant adventure buddies |
Until one afternoon I rushed out of my little apartment after work to get a ski tour in before dark. I wanted to see if I could climb 800m in less than an hour on ski’s, something which I had seen on instagram. With my heavy freestyle ski’s and boots and Mac to chase I headed up the mountain at full speed. In the far distance I could see a figure which I used to push myself harder and try to catch up with. When I finally passed him, still going at full speed, I realised it was my neighbour and one of my landlord Gerard best friends, about whom I had heard an awful lot but never officially met. “You know who I am?” he asked whilst following me up the mountain “I am Yann” he said “Gerard’s friend”
Yann and I became instant adventure buddies that day. There was an immediate understanding for each others passions, drive and a mutual desire to chase dreams. I found my kindred spirit in the mountains and Yann opened to me the world of mountaineering.
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| learning to use ice axes and crampons |
During the winter months I learned about using crampons, ice axes and climbing ropes. I got used to being comfortable in the most dramatic mountainous settings. Yann taught me about the mountains, its inhabitants, its weather, its dangers and its attractions. And the more I learned the more I got hooked. As soon as the weather warmed up Yann took me rock climbing, the fundamentals for alpinism he said. From an absolute scaredy cat at the start, I learned to have trust in equipment, I learned about different type of knots, about assessing rock faces and where to place my hand and feet, I learned about what my body could and could not do. And I learned to trust my increasing strength, skills and ability.
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| always with an eye on Mont Blanc |
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| Every adventure presented to me I would say yes |
I had met someone who continuously inspired me to try harder, to progress, to push forward but at the same time who also made me accept my inexperience and made me take a step back when I needed it.
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| Getting used to heights |
Every adventure presented to me by Yann I would say yes to. Yes.Yes.Yes. I can, I want, I will, let’s go. And from Yann in return I heard a lot of “no, no, no” when I asked him to take me on his ski mountaineering adventures, often beyond my skill sets. Or when I had planned my own adventure which proved too dangerous he would lecture me. “It is difficult for me sometimes” said Yann to me “to keep you safe” “you are atypical” “you will never give up and never say no and fear does not stop you from doing things you don’t have the skills for” “You have the mental and physical strength to follow me but you will need to gain more experience, it is a simple as that” Sometimes it would be difficult not be able to go with him but I learned to listen and respect Yann’s opinion.
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| learning all about rock climbing |
The first hut; Refuge de tete Rousse at 3100m was situated just below Le Couloir de la mort, the name given to the steep technical ascend of about 750m to get to the refuge the Gouter. Due to dangerous rock falls many people had lost their lives on this part of the ascend. We decided to stay here the first and night and reach for the Summit the next day so we had a couple of different opportunities to get up Mont Blanc with the second night planned at 3800m in the Refuge the Gouter.
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| calm before the storm at Tete Rousse |
Wind had picked up and the weather did not look great. Yann was pessimistic (which he never really is) “if we make it to Dome the Gouter, that is already an achievement” he said. My heart sank. A discussion started. “I understand if we have to turn around because it is too dangerous” I said, “but if it is because it is too difficult or too uncomfortable I want to keep going” “I am not scared of suffering” “I am ready to suffer” I laughed “Let’s stay optimistic” I insisted. “Even if I have to crawl over the ridge on my hand and feet to the summit, I want to at least know I have tried”
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| Clement and Yannick |
In only a few hours a bond had already formed in our little group, funny how with people who share the same passion this happens so quickly. We all just clicked. With a simple look, a smile, a familiar gesture things were understood quickly which made communication in these extreme circumstances so much easier.
We decided to push for the Summit at 4am the next morning. The wind was blowing a gale, we could hear the rock fall while heading into the couloir. Yann set a fast pace wanting to be ahead of other groups and spend as little time as possible on this dangerous part of the ascend. In less than two hours we made it to Gouter and it was here that it turned tough, I could barely stand up right let alone push through the wind. Visibility would come and go so quickly which made navigating just that little harder. We crossed groups which had turned around making their way down. The altitude got to me and I did not feel that great. One foot in front of the other, I knew this feeling all too well. I looked back at Clement and Yannick, body language revealed we were all suffering. The wind was so loud I could barely hear my own thoughts which was probably not a bad thing! Yann turned and looked at us, “we will turn around at Dome du Gouter” he said. It was simply too tough. There was no visibility and the wind was relentless. I felt a little sense of relieve.
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| le couloir du mort |
But as we climbed over the Dome the clouds cleared and we could see Vallot Hut in the far distance at nearly 4400m. “Lets try” Yann said “we are going to the summit”
I was struggling. My lungs screaming for oxygen, my head about to explode, everything I was wearing felt tight, especially my climbing helmet. My stomach turning every step I took. My whole body was hurting. The feeling of altitude sickness. Acclimatisation like Yannick and Clement had done before hand was probably not a bad thing I thought to myself. “All you have to do is keep moving forward” I heard Yann behind me. And so I did.
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| heading for the summit |
More groups turning around and the mountain ahead of us started to look deserted, we kept progressing at a desent pace. A guide who was a friend of Yann’s was ahead of us “if he turns around so we will” that was the plan. It got steeper and more technical in places, the ridges turned narrower, the snow deeper and the wind even stronger. At one point I dropped to my hand and knees holding on for dear life to my ice ax and my crampons pinned into the snow whilst 100km/hr winds tried to blow us off the Bosses ridge line. ‘Well I asked for this” I laughed to myself. We were not far from the summit when we crossed Guillome making his way down. “The summit is not far now" he said "go get it" This is very much the limit in terms of weather” he yelled into the wind to Yann whilst shaking his head.
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| 100km/hr winds going over the Bosses ridge on the way down |
Making it to the summit was a surreal feeling, I could not stand because of the wind, my climbing rope flying circles around my face. My goggles filling up with tears. I looked at Yann, Clement, Yannick. We had made it. An intense feeling of gratitude. 5 years ago I could barely walk up a hill without experiencing a lot of pain. And now I stood on top of Mont Blanc. I thought of my friends, some of which who are going through a very tough time, some of which who’s pain won’t be able to be taken away like mine. Life is so fickle, so fragile. I felt so lucky I was able to do this and the difficult conditions made it that much more special. “Le Mont Blanc est toujours la” I had heard guides tell their clients.
This might be true for Mont Blanc but not for people who do not get to see out their lives. Who are simply not that fortunate. I believe the moment is now (within safety margins), grab it, embrace it, love it and live it.
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| Making our way down Mont Blanc sledging! |
Although luck did play in our hands with the skies clearing as we went up higher, I was proud that our little group had the fitness levels, the mountain skills, and the mental ability to push hard to create a window of opportunity for ourselves so we we were able to reach for the stars.
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| clear views heading to Vallot |
Mont Blanc for me was not some goal I had to tick off. I felt it was only a start. An experience gained. Coming home I was even more inspired to learn, to improve my skills and to go again and again, to become smoother, better, and faster. Yann said to me on our return “ Mont Blanc a fait de toi un Alpiniste, maintenant il faut faire de toi un montagnarde”
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| Yann has opened the world of mountaineering to me |
Life has changed so much for me in the last 12 months. And it is not that I do not have difficult days or that my body is pain free. But I have never felt more inspired, felt more positive to keep fighting for what I believe is worth fighting for. And with that believe I feel stronger than ever.
A huge thanks to Yann, Yannick and Clement for an experience which is engraved in my heart.
“Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit” EE Cummings.
